How to be single 💃🏻

 I'm sure you don't need me to remind you that it is Valentine's day. The pictures of the loved-up couples were already appearing all weekend as people celebrated before today.

And I'm sure you also don't need to remind you that Instagram can be a complete facade for an unhappy life/relationship.

But if you are still not feeling great on a day like today, I want to remind you that - yes, you can be blissfully happy in a relationship with a happy marriage, a beautiful home and cute kids, but you can also be blissfully happy without any of those things.

I know, from my experience living in Ireland, it can seem like your life purpose is to find a partner, settle down and... I'm not even sure what's supposed to come after that because I didn't stick around to find out.

But from doing so much travelling and meeting so many people from different cultures, educations, and lived experiences, I realised that there is no set way that you should live your life. 

The important thing, as always, is to be clear on your values. I value freedom, independence and self-respect so if somebody even shows an inkling of threat to any of my values - they will not be staying around.

I know that I have done so much work on myself over the last few years to feel happy in my own company, that I find it difficult to allow myself to be vulnerable enough to let somebody in.

Now, I'm not saying this is the right way to live, but it's how I remain happy and content with my life choices.

It reminds me of the 'Brules' from the book The Code of The Extraordinary Mind. These are the b*llsh*t rules that we live our life by. But when we dig deep down into them, we realise we are living by all these "shoulds", without questioning why.

So what if you are single?

How many people do you know in relationships that don't feel secure?

What do you think that does for their self-worth?

I'm not saying I don't want a relationship but it would have to be a very special person that would allow me to make any sacrifices.

I want to show that it is ok to wait for that. It is ok to be alone. It's ok to have meaningful relationships with friends. It's not even just "ok" - it can actually be amazing, without any heartache.

If you are in a relationship that is not serving you, are you staying in it because you are worried what people think? Are you worried what life would be without that person?

What if it is better?

What if you could be single and happy?

You don't know what life will throw at you, when you've improved your relationship with yourself.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Siobhan "They say she loves herself like it's a bad thing" O'Hagan

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