Why I'm not going back to Bali

I was going to write about what to do for fat loss, if the methods I shared yesterday didn’t work - but then I guess that wouldn’t be giving it enough time to test the method out.

So instead, today I want to move away from fat loss and sales emails and write something a little more thought provoking.

You might have seen on my Instagram story yesterday, that I have decided to move to London permanently. That’s right - I won’t be going back to Bali. Not to live anyway.

Let’s talk about value-based decisions.

It’s how I’ve navigated all the big life decisions I’ve had to make up until this point.

Ever since I started working as a personal trainer, my values were ‘freedom’ and ‘happiness’.

There are so many values that might resonate with you, and I think it’s important to figure these out. E.g. security, love, integrity, humanity, personal development, wealth, fame - to name a few.

This means that any decisions or sacrifices that I came up against, I was able to guide the decision knowing that I would choose whatever brought me closer to freedom or happiness.

We live a short life (I’d recommend reading Oliver Burkeman’s book - “4000 weeks”), so we can’t do everything in life, but making decisions in line with your values helps you practice acceptance around the opportunity cost of your decision.

For my life of freedom and travel, there were a lot of opportunity costs:

Big events in the lives of my family and friends.

Knowing where I would be in a couple of months to make plans.

Building deep and long lasting relationships with people.

The benefits of living in one place.

Amazon deliveries.

Pints in Fagan’s beer garden before a Dublin match.

But I was ok with all of that over the last few years, because I knew that I was making value-based decisions.

I encourage my clients to be clear on their values (I even have it built into the tracker), because if ‘health’ is a clear value, they might be ok with deciding not to go on another hen weekend, if it’s not in line with their values.

Of course, if socialising or having fun is one of their values, it might help them practice acceptance around some weight gain when there is a lot on.

It really helped me be clear that I was living my life, in a way that I wanted.

But then I had a thought that I wanted to explore. Just before I left Bali, I watched a video that got me thinking about a different way of life completely.

It hit me in the gut and resulted in existential dread.

Then this question came to me as I was walking on the beach, trying to figure it all out.

What if our values are holding us back from the true meaning of life...?

Of course, nobody knows what the meaning of life is. There have been some excellent attempts of making sense of it (i.e. philosophy).

But I was looking at happy families on my social media, and around me. This is something I never wanted. But am I missing out on a big part of life? (That’s a rhetorical question, no need to answer!)

At the same time, I have never felt more ‘alive’ than when I am travelling in a new country, completely alone, immersed in a new culture. This is something that somebody else might never experience, if they have a value of security or no interest in travel.

So, I thought - why not try out a new way of living?

I had a very good life in Bali. I woke up everyday happy and excited for the day ahead. I thought that was the definition of success. And maybe it is.

I think I need to be more challenged though. I can see how much I thrive from the challenge of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and how it applies to life.

I think I want to push myself more in all areas of my life, and I just wasn’t doing that in Bali.

So I am in London now, and hopefully moving into my new long-term apartment this week.

I am definitely reducing my freedom a little bit (I’ll have to work a lot harder to afford to live here), but I’m still happy, and I might start looking at a value of ‘relationships’ and how that might improve my life.

Plus, I want to be in one spot so that I can get my blue belt. Priorities!

I hope my thought process makes sense. The more I learn, the less I know that I know.

We’re all just trying to navigate our 4000 weeks (if we’re lucky!) as best we can.

Thanks for reading,

Siobhan “Question everything” O’Hagan

P.S. I know I said this wasn't a sales email but London is V expensive, so if you're thinking of signing up to The Furnace, let me know what's holding you back and we can chat ;)